saying "hell yeah"? Or are you with me on the outside looking in? Well, not with me but the same as me anyway.

I am a somewhat shy person. I like to be involved but rarely jump up and say, pick me! I hate to feel like I am being obtrusive or pushy. But maybe I should be more often. I am like that when I meet new people to and perhaps that is why I have so few friends (real or internet wise). Not that I don't want to be a social person. I just feel once a "group" is already made it is very hard to break through the wall to get in.

I think things in my life have made me who I am, for better or worse. I have had many "good" friends stab me in the back so therefore I do not make friends easily. The times I have met someone I wanted to be friends with I would suggest a lunch or something and get rejected. Now why would I want to keep putting myself out there for that?

I think I have somewhat of a complex too. For example I can be on an airline flight to anywhere, a packed flight no less and the one and only seat left available is the one next to me.... Do I smell? I brush my teeth, I use deodorant, I swear. In school I was the one no one wanted on their team. The last one picked, that we me. I was the girl that the guys picked on, the girls hated and was never asked on a date. I was the "stuck up" one, yeah right!! But that is what people thought. I was shy, it was, and still is a defense mechanism. I hold my head high, walk with a purpose and trap myself in my own little world where no one can touch me.

On top of this I admit I have anxiety issues. Always have. As far back as I can remember anyway. Social situations put me on edge. Not so much if I am with someone but to go to a social gathering alone or eat at a restaurant by myself? No way!!! Not that I haven't, but I do avoid it if I can. I take meds, they help. And as an adult I do realize I do need to do things I have anxiety over regardless of how it makes me feel and I deal with those things as they come about.

I am 41yrs old, should I, or do I even care about not being on the "inside" ?? (whatever or wherever the inside is) No, not so much. Sure it would be nice to be loved by everyone, but it's all good. Then I think about blogging. I think of things that happen day to day and think of posting but then wonder, "why would anyone want to hear/read about that"? But ya know what? It's my blog and I need to be doing this for me! If someone thinks something I post about is stupid or boring then so be it. I really shouldn't worry about it. And guess what, I'm not.....

This post is not a "How To" on Social networking. I am asking a serious question, how do I keep up?? I do not know how some of you ladies do it, seriously.

I feel, or I should say I am on my computer all day yet I always feel I am just not succeeding in getting myself out there enough. The goal being more readers to my blog, more this and that.

I do Twitter, Facebook, Entrecard, several blogging message boards and go to peoples blogs. Yet I feel I am way behind the curve compared to other blogging friends I see out there. I always wonder do people really care about what I write or think? And if they do, then why??

One of several things would need to happen to get things done. Either I need fewer kids. I would need to lock myself in a room alone for 12 hours a day (or more). Or I freaking need to learn how to type so this whole process would be more productive. I type with two fingers, and even those two let me down with many mistakes that need correcting. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to include that whole time management concept. What is that about anyway??

Also I never think of great (well mediocre anyway) things to write about until it's like midnight and by then I am way too tired. Did I mention it is 11:42pm now and I have to be up in five hours??

Sorry, but the covers are calling now and I need to shut my brain down long enough to sleep.

Cause it looks as though I haven't blogged since Sunday! I usually get my inspiration (if that is what you want to call it) for my posts just as I lay down at night to go to sleep. You know that time when your mind is racing through all the days events? Of course by then I am either too tired to get up and blog, or too lazy to get a pen and paper to write down my thoughts.

I need to keep a little notebook in my purse or by my computer for when something interesting or otherwise note worthy takes pace so I can remember to blog about it. Cause ya know, the minute I sit down here at my computer every thought in my head just leaps right out in to the land of the unknown.

Luckily tomorrow is wordless Wednesday and I won't have to say a thing!! I think I need a meme for every day of the week.

Nothing exciting happened but the kids were kinda pushing me over the edge today. They let the dog out this morning. Meaning they opened the door and the dog left on a dead run. Here I am first thing in the morning, in my night clothes and I need to go and chase down the dog. With the kids no less cause I can't just leave them alone. So we walk around the RV park and don't see the stupid dog. We head back to the RV and I figure I will get the van and drive around. Well, stupid dog was waiting for us. His name is Romeo but stupid seemed to fit him better today.

In the afternoon the boys were out riding their bikes. Now what possessed Matthew to grab a huge rock and drop it on A.J.'s head I don't know but he did it. A.J. is crying and screaming and Matthew is acting like everything is fine in the world today. That's my Matthew.

Also I think I have become a bit obsessed. I was trying all day to make my 2 column template into a 3 column template. Keep in mind I know nothing about HTML or any kind of computer codes. I was going off directions from other websites. I almost had it a few times, but alas you can see my template is still 2 column. Maybe I'll figure it out someday but today is not that day.

I have been looking for a new template for my blog. However, the ones I liked the most were/are in a format that does not work here with Blogger. I have spent hours and hours and more hours on every website I could find trying to find just the right "look" for my site. I guess I didn't find it but I like this one well enough to live with it for awhile. For awhile there I thought I was going to have to learn to make my own template (yeah right!!!). If anyone ever reads my blog, let me know how it looks.

You have reached beginning of my blog. Yes, I too have jumped on the blog bandwagon. I have tried this before but since I don't type real well I never kept up with it. Or maybe I just have a boring life (yeah right!).

About me :) My name is Susan. I have been married to Jeremy since 11/04 and we have 3 boys, Alex, A.J. and Matthew.

My history :) I was born in Japan (my dad was USN) and grew up in Michigan. I spent 7 years in the USAF as a jet engine mechanic. I was stationed in Germany and Tucson, AZ. I have also (in my life) been a restaurant manager, physical therapy tech, a server and a cashier (not in that order).

My dh is from Alabama and works as a union electrician. He is why I am here wondering "what happened to my house??" More on that later. Jeremy, although rough around the edges is a good provider and a great husband (most times).